LSS stands for a little something in our charismatic community called ‘Life in the Spirit Seminar’ which will happen sometime this May. It is when those who are called are able to allow the Holy Spirit to work within them (at least that is according to my understanding), and part of the process is that prior to the seminar, you will be guided by a select someone who is more spiritually mature than yourself — he / she is your shepherd.
I have gone 2 weeks being ok but unfortunately, once I hit a difficult obstacle, I became a bit Lazy, Stupid, and Selfish. This is my LSS, shameful to say. And today, while I was re-reading some of the reading material again, I realized I had underestimated one line … warning me about my laziness, stupidity, and selfishness. I have been warned oppression happens, and it almost always does.
“Your desire to submit your lives to our Lord Jesus will grow as the seminar progresses. Because of this, you will experience stronger temptations. … these temptations … usually come in the form of depression, impatience, resentment or pride.” – Fr. Kenneth Ezpeleta, LSS 35 Spiritual Director
Despite that warning, I caved. From that spiritual high where I once was, I went down to the … Avoid, Drink, Hate, Doubt phase … (Hey! It’s initials spell out ADHD!) Then day after day, without knowing, I grew further and further away from the Lord, further and further away from the Church, and further and further away from myself, and I was slowly becoming a person I hate.
However, there is another part of Fr. Kenneth Ezpeleta’s line besides feeling oppression and facing temptation. It’s not all danger and warning signs about being tempted to fall into the darkness. There is also light. It reads: “Your desire to submit your lives to our Lord Jesus will grow as the seminar progresses.” And despite my derailment, my desire is still there. The desire still grows.
1For you who want something more,
For you who know that you have a thirst that has not yet been satisfied,
For you who have heard of a water that refreshes as beyond compare,
For you who feel burdened, who feel that you have reached the depths and want to rise,
For you who are on top of the world, but who know that all the world does not have enough,
For you who are full of fears and anxieties
For you who feel hardened and closed
For you who are full of eagerness and enthusiasm,
For you who want all a human being can have,
For all men, there is a promise, a promise made by your God,
By the one who made you.
Perhaps you know him and have wondered if there should not be more.
Perhaps you have only dimly heard of him and wish you could find him.
Now he speaks to you.
Now he offers you a promise, a gift, a new life — without price.
He offers it to you freely, just as he created you freely,
Because he loves you.
… All we need to do is to receive it … to turn to him, and to listen to him.
If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts. Psalm 95:7
So I am picking myself up back from where I left off, sticking with some basics, acknowledging (not underestimating) how great the oppression and temptation might be, and moving forward yet again.
1 Finding New Life in the Spirit