Swan Dive


[Jesus] He said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do questions arise in your hearts?”
Luke 24:38

Beginning every year, I would create a theme for me to live by. For 2012, honestly, I forgot what it was. I guess it wasn’t a good enough of a theme to begin with, and the only motto I remember is “swan dive!!” to 2012 because of the funny Old Spice commercial a few years ago. But as the events of the year started to unfold, I concluded that God wanted this year to be about my further healing and to open me up a little more to receive His love — Healing & Openness for 2012. Sounds about right.

When I asked for our Lord to heal me, everything in me, things that I’ve dug deep down, chosen to forget, ignore… Faithful to His promises, He brought them to the surface using the people close to me.

“When I call, answer me, O my just God, you who relieve me when I am in distress; have pity on me, and hear my prayer! Know that the Lord does wonders for his faithful one; the Lord will hear me when I call upon Him.” Psalm 4:2-4

The bringing to the surface of hurtful memories and swimming through them isn’t easy. Forgiveness on my part is definitely a given, and it is automatic. My unconscious avoidance towards these memories has kept the hurt in mint condition even after more than 10 years. People who trigger the memory are in close proximity, so I have to be careful about how I act and about what I say. Even if those people aren’t careful about what they say or how they act. Anger that I never thought existed in the memory, rises up and makes itself known, and at times I have trouble sleeping.

[Jesus] He stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
Luke 24:36

This is His promise for me. “Peace be with you.” And with expectant faith, I actively wait. My journey in faith has taught me not to rely on shallow feelings, but instead depend, trust, and fully surrender myself (everyday) to His will, believing fully, expectant of the fulfillment of His many promises. … Just because my heart is troubled at the moment, doesn’t mean that the Lord hasn’t only planted His seeds of peace in the areas which require healing. I have to let go, and let God.

Jesus calls:

Let Me control your mind. The mind is the most restless, unruly part of mankind. Long after you have learned the discipline of holding your tongue, your thoughts defy your will and set themselves up against Me. Man is the pinnacle of My creation, and the human mind is wondrously complex. 

Response: Lord, I lay my life at your feet. Control my restless mind.

Listen to Me continually. I have much to communicate to you, so many people and situations in need of prayer. 

Response: Speak Lord, Your servant is listening.

“Now I know, brothers, that you acted out of ignorance.”
Acts 3:17

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Luke 23:34

“The way we may be sure that we know Him is to keep His commandments. Those who say, “I know Him,” but do not keep His commandments are liars, and the truth is not in them. But whoever keeps His Word, the love of God is truly perfected in Him.”
– 1 John 2:4-5

“He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.”
– Luke 24:45

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