“Allow me to die, Father, so that others might live” is the prayer I wrote to the Lord about 7 years ago. Nowadays, it has evolved to, “I am crucified with You, O Lord Jesus Christ,” and most prayers have been like this lately…
And today I realized this… As I went to church this morning before work to pray, while I was kneeling down telling God:
“You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows…” Psalm 23:5 And you bring so much love into my life… Love that You have put in me, Love that is in me, love that I brought out into the world and was able to express through words, through actions, and Love that was again filled back into my heart. It was too much to contain!! Lord Jesus, how can I ever reciprocate all the good that you have given me… All I can do is receive this love, take it, give it, use it, pay it forward, multiply it, express it, only to be filled with it again … But Lord Jesus, this love belongs to You… And so, I give it back to You… All of it. For Your glory, for your Name… For You Alone… Lord, I give it back to You, as I empty myself again, I empty myself completely… I take all that is in my heart and give it back to You… And as I do this, I know… You will fill my heart again with more grace… with more love… with more of You… For the more that I empty myself, there is less and less of me… and more and more of You… This is all that I want. To be filled with Your Everlasting Love, to be filled with Your Mighty Presence, to be filled with You….
I realize now that this emptiness… this emptying of myself… this is bliss.