In Conversation with God

It has been about three mornings that I’ve been sleeping in, and very early this morning I woke up to a Voice that told me, “Get up. And cook breakfast for your family before your father goes to church.”

To which I, in my sleepiness imagining the chore of cooking another early meal, whined like a child, “But I’m too tired, sleepy, and haven’t had enough rest. I don’t want to cook breakfast.”

After some moments, the Voice called out again, “Then just get up.”

Suddenly out of nowhere, I recalled the passages I had just recently read in my father’s book ‘In Conversation with God’ which had reminded me of complete self-surrender, love, and self-giving… Then I grumbled to myself, “Deny yourself. Mortification. Sacrifice,” and got out of bed.

When I got out of my room, I scratched my head and squinted my eyes in the morning daylight. To my surprise, I saw that the breakfast table had already been set, and my father was just getting ready to go out to hear the morning mass. He asked me what I was doing.

“I want to go to church with you,” I didn’t know why I said it.

He nodded with an “Ok. We’re leaving in 5 minutes.”

We arrived at the Fanling Church before half past six, which gave me enough quiet time in the church to read the readings before the Chinese mass started. When I finished, I looked up at the cross and in an arrogant way said with my eyes, “Alright God, you got me here. Now, what do you want?”… I complained a little, but had to remind myself not to. … And when I opened up my little devotions book, Jesus Calling, He then told me His humble, loving answer to my selfish question:

1“Meet Me in early morning splendor. I eagerly await you here. In the stillness of this holy time with Me, I renew your strength and saturate you with Peace.”

My heart fell. “I’m sorry Lord.” I couldn’t count what emotions were going in and out of me during the moments when I read those lines. I hear Him speak to me. I actually heard Him! In my sleepiness, I took it for granted… And during the many times during my days that I overlook it, He speaks directly to me. I recall my SE love letter to God and His response to me was only one line: “You already know what I say to you.” And at the time in my naive mind and jealousy, I thought to myself … How come I only get one line? But now, it’s all crystal clear. I am humbled. I am honored. I am in awe.

1“While others turn over for extra sleep or anxiously tune in to the latest news, you commune with the Creator of the universe. I have awakened in your heart a strong desire to know Me. This longing originated in Me, though it now burns brightly in you.”

At this point, I imaged a very bright white light shining in me and through me. And God looking at me with His loving eyes and a grin on His face as the late reaction and/or after-shock of His wake-up call brought me out of my sleepiness. Then my mind, in its shocked state, did what it automatically does in situations of extreme panic and emotion — my mind hit overdrive. Over-analysis to the max! Trying to recall every single moment in my life when I heard His Voice but overlooked the significance of it, overlooked the Love that accompanied it … How could I have overlooked the value of this great grace? How dare I? Then I found myself trying to understand and recall with my logic all the times it had happened — When? Why? How? What time? What was I doing?Through what medium? What message? Was it a sound? Was it an image? Was it another sense?

Dizzy. Too. Much. Thinking. Must. Calm. Down.

1“When you seek My Face in response to My Love-call, both of us are blessed. This is a deep mystery, designed more for your enjoyment than for your understanding.”

Deep breath.

1“I am not a dour God who discourages pleasure. I delight in your enjoyment of everything that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable. Think on these things, and My Light in you will shine brighter day by day.”

“Thank you, my Lord,” and that’s all I am able to say.

I’ve always known that I could hear His Voice, I have constantly acted upon hearing it already. But today was different. With all the changes, with the new guidance, with me currently detaching from certain stuff, with the shifts, and with me realizing with confidence in the Lord that He has laid down before me, my own path, the path He has prepared for me… Today, when I heard His voice again… It was extra special.

“Write all the words I have spoken to you in a book.” – Jeremiah 30:2

1 Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, August 16


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